The Art of Letting Go.....

Posted by redthil On 4/12/2007 09:49:00 PM

I used to read forwards.. but not all would go to the "Forwards" folder, which is just like a trash ( which we delete when the mail box gets overloaded)... some good forwards do manage to get a place in my blog... Here's such a kind of forward which i read yesterday...


The Art of Letting Go : By Dr. Alan Zimmerman's

Sooner or later, everyone we know will disappoint us in some way. They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt us. And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger us. It's inevitable.
Unfortunately, we make things worse when we stew over someone's words and deeds. When we dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person, we're headed for deeper problems.
In fact, the more we dwell on these things, the more bitter we'll get.
We’ll find our joy, peace and happiness slipping away. And we'll find our productivity slowing down as we spend more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it. Eventually, if we don't stop doing it, we'll even get sick.
So what should we do the next time someone betrays us? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person wronged us, we are still responsible for our own feelings.
In other words, other people do not "cause" our feelings. We choose them.
For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were "stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions.
As long as we blame other people for our feelings, as long as we believe other people caused our feelings, we're stuck. We’re a helpless victim.
But if we recognize the fact that we choose our feelings and we are responsible for our feelings, there's hope. we can take some time to think about our feelings. And we can decide what is the best thing to say or do.
Then, we've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT. It's difficult to do, but it's possible. The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that.
After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years, Carlyle completed the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it.
Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him that his work had been destroyed.
Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill.
These things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go, my friend! Do not feel bad."
As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window. Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want him to see how crushed I am by this misfortune." And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is gone, so I had better start writing again."
Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics of all time. He had learned to walk away from his disappointment.
After all, what could Carlyle have done about his burnt manuscript?
Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript. All Carlyle could do was to get bitter or get started. And what can we do about anything once it is over? Not much. we can try to correct it if it is possible, or we can walk away from it if it isn't. Those are your only two choices.
Sometimes we've just got to shake it off and step up.
Finally, we need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the wrong. But when the other person is really guilty about what he is done its worth forgiving because he dared to accept his mistakes.
Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behavior is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook. He's still responsible for his misbehavior.
Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook. It's about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future.
Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you. If you know how to respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people. You'll be able to live above and beyond your circumstances.
Action:
Identify two people who has disappointed, hurt, or angered you.
If possible, select two people towards whom you still have some bitterness.
Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me?
Am I happier holding on to it?
Do I sleep better? Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?"
If you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision.
Actually decide to let it go.
Walk away from the disappointment -- which means you no longer dwell on it or talk about it.


And finally, i would like to thank my friend Reshma for this wonderful forward.


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U Turn...

Posted by redthil On 4/05/2007 10:35:00 AM

It has been a long time since i had posted a blog here. So just to break the "Silence Period", here's one little forward which i came across today.

"Auto! Auto!" Ranjeev was calling out at a passing by autorickshaw.

It was a Saturday evening. His roommates had been home for a long weekend. Yeah, Monday and Tuesday were declared holidays owing to a local festival. Ranjeev is working as a Software Engineer for a multinational company for the past 4 years.

"Tidel Park. How much?"
"Forty Five rupees, sir"
"Forty"
"Okay, sir"

In five minutes, they were at Teynampet signal caught up in a traffic jam.

"This signal always like this sir!. "Your cell phone ringing, sir".
Ranjeev was unaware as the ring tone was set to a low .


"Hello Amit!" ... "Long time man. Where are you?" ... "Oh man! I read the reivews. They say the movie is good. Got some work at office?" ...
"No, nothing serious. But have to go and do it today" ... "Sorry, I wont be able to join you guys for the movie today. Another time, okay?" ....
"Aish Kar. Chal, bye!"
"You work for computer company?" asked the autowalah.

"Yes! How do you know that?"

"Neatly dressing, smart, having cellphone, going to Tidel Park. I am running auto for 15 years sir. I know people by seeing only."

Ranjeev is dulled at people outlining software engineers the way they do. "It is never easy as said. It is not the apparent money and ostensible looks that make up a software engineer," he thought. "There is more to it * project, deadlines, quality, pressure, bonus, stress, onsite, and the list is long."

"Computer companies are good sir, giving job to youth. You all work very hard. I drop people from Tidel Park at midnight."

Ranjeev was maintaining his silence.

"Now people work like you very early. When I was youth I have many friends. We see many films. Ten, fifteen film one month. Saturday, Sunday we play cricket in Marina beach. Bet match sir for 50 rupees, 100 rupees. We win, then we will go to film or drink. I am big fan of Rajni. I see all films upto Baba. Now I see Dhanush films also. He acting very good. That time was really enjoying sir. You dont like film-a sir?"

"No, I like watching movies. I am planning to go to 'Phir Milenge' tomorrow"

"Where running sir?"

"Sathyam"

"You go alone? No friends? Friends are important sir. No enjoyment without friends sir."

"My friends are going now. I have some work to finish today. So I am going tomorrow."

"Work will be there everytime sir. Youth will go sir. If you dont mistake, I say something sir?"

Though looking uninterested, he had an urge to let him go. He nodded his head, "Mmm."

"You have more money but no time to spend money. You work more and get more money. Then time is very, very less to spend money. Then why do you need money sir? See sir, it is enough if you earn as much as you can spend. My father tell it to me. I follow it sir."

Ranjeev was deep in thought rewinding through his senior school days with Amit. Amit was his chum in class. They had been reading together from class VII. The last movie they saw together was 'Hum Aapke Hain Kaun' during their final year at school. Both being Salman aficionados, they watched almost all of his movies together. Now that they both work at Chennai, they call up rarely and chitchat for sometime.

The auto came to a stop. "Tidel Park, sir" "If I talk something wrong, sorry sir."

"Thats okay. Can you take me to Sathyam theatre? Fifty rupees?"

"Okay sir. Going to film sir?"

"Yes. With my friends."

Calling Amit..Connecting.."Hello Ranji!"

"Hey Amit! I am joining you guys for the movie. Can you guys get a ticket for me? I am on my way to Sathyam."

"Good that you called me. I bought a ticket for you too before I called you up. Now I was trying to sell it out."

"Thanks man! Keep it for me."

"Come soon. See you!"

Don't give a slap to your personal life working on Weekends when they are yours.

Thanks to Reshma for sending this forward, to her friend who sent this to her, to her friend's friend who sent this to him/her, to her friend's friend's friend who sent this to him/her.................

Why should we earn when we don't get the time to spend it the way that we enjoy the most!!!!!!

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redthil
Some people go to priests; others to poetry; I to my friends.
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